Partners in Ministry,

Tom McGrath and Joellyn Cicciarello, who work in our editorial department, have recently creted a few new resources for connecting with parents. One of them is a list of tips that can be used to help get parents through the door.

Is there anything you would add to the list?

*children's performance
*children's art gallery followed by a meeting
*creative door prizes, such as a reserved pew for Christmas or Easter
*trivia night
*begin the meeting with a "hot topic" discussion, such as internet safety
*cookie exchange or potluck meeting
*personal, written invitation from their children.

When I have parent meetings, especially sacramental preparation meetings, I have a sheet of discussion questions at each table. Some of the questions are general "getting to know you" questions, and some are about the theme or topic of the meeting. This gives parents something to "do" while they're waiting. I htink it also helps them shift gears.

I also work to make sure we have a nice environment: prayer space, center pieces on the table, and muisic in the background as people come in.

"When I have parent meetings, especially sacramental preparation meetings, I have a sheet of discussion questions at each table. Some of the questions are general "getting to know you" questions, and some are about the theme or topic of the meeting."

That's a great idea which could work in all sorts of social situations.

I think the real answer is that there isn't one answer but many because parents come in all shapes and sizes. Treating them with respect and as adults is a must as is working in partnership together.
We have tough as nail parents who know everything and will tell you so and don't want any input. Often what they know isn't the best and they can be the hardest to break through that shell.
We have others who truly are the clay that the potter molds. Some are mostly unformed but anxious for us to do our piece of the potter's work and other's are wonderfully sculted long before we ever encounter them. What a joy to be part of their journey and be touched by their wisdom.
Still others come as fragile and scarred figurines. They have meekly come because they deeply desire their children to receive a sacrament, to learn about God, whatever, but they bring some much hurt and uncertainity that we need to be very gentle with them.
If you partner catechists and keep class sizes small you probably have about 1 in 7 or better of the parents involved as a catechist. On top of that how many are helping in other areas- office help, special activities, etc. I think a lot of times we forget this.
But what about the rest.
We offer a variety of ways for parents to get involved. Take home pages go home in the children's folders each week. These are explained during second week of class at the general parent meeting and open house. We get the majority of the parents not already involved in the classes to that. We have four sessions for the parents of the second graders, two for confession, two for communion and present them with materials to work with their children at home. We also invite them join their children for the two retreat days for the sacraments, most do. We have four coffees for the different age groups scattered throughout the year. We have four "family days" when the parents lead their family through the activities of the day--Saints day, Christmas celebration, Lenten day, and Easter Celebration. The two celebrations combine learning and craft activities with food and fellowship and have replaced class or program "parties". For those looking for something deeper for their own adult formation we offer weekly study groups and two men and two women retreat weekends. It doesn't get everyone involved but it offers avenues for all to find where they are comfortable taking one more step.

Thank you Bill. I love what you wrote " I think the real answer is that there isn't one answer but many because parents come in all shapes and sizes. Treating them with respect and as adults is a must as is working in partnership together. "

Ther are many different ways to involve parents, their appropriateness varries upon situation. One of my golden rules when dealing with families is to be respectful of every parent. I often tell my catechists that we need to remember that God placed that child in that family for a reason. Some parents may drive us up a wall but we always need to be respectful of them and their role as parents.

We can't on one hand preach that they are their children's primary educators and then try to steal that role away from them or dictate the manner in which that role should be played out. I feel like my role is to support parents, and in many cases coach them on ways they can include the faith in their daily lives. But I also have to be open to hearing what is working for them and help them connect to other parents so they can support eachother.

It is not my role to bullly them, blame them or lecture them. Such tactics rarely work with children and never with adults. Rather I try to I put my efforts into invitation and encouragement. More often than not if we belive good things about others and support them in doing the right thing they will exceed our expectaions. If this attitude means that we risk being disappointed sometimes I believe that it is a risk worth taking for all the times when parents do take ownership fo their God given vocation.